The Friendship Vacuum
(Attracting Friendships that Serve You and Last a Lifetime!)
What
you’re about to read is a love story... well, not so much a love story
as a love letter - A Soul Sister story and one of the greatest lessons
of my life, to date.
There was a 5-year period in my twenties (up
until about 2 years ago) where I found myself completely friendless.
Sure I had my family, my boyfriend, his family and my coworkers but I
didn’t have a BFF/female/friendship connection. It was a lonely time in
my life.
How and why did I find myself in this situation? Well, believe it or not, it was by choice.
I
once read that if you’re the most successful, ambitious and driven of
all your friends, you better find new friends. And in order to attract
those new friends, you must first make room in your life to receive them
– you must create the vacuum.
At first that sounded just a tad
harsh... I mean, I loved my friends, they’d been in my life for years!
We’d been through all kinds of things together: dates, breakups, new
careers and countless stupid decisions that often came back to bite us.
Some
never did fool me - I knew they were only a part of my life out of
convenience. But there were a handful that I felt I had developed true,
meaningful friendships with. The idea that I might one day actually
choose to move on from these friendships seemed completely improbable
and highly unlikely.
But that is exactly what happened.
In
2007 I found myself longing for something more. I was working as a Nanny
and, while I loved my job, I felt deep in my soul that something was
missing. I was meant for more. I was capable of more. I had an
entrepreneurial spirit that couldn’t be ignored.
I began studying the work of James Allen, Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale and Bob Proctor.
The
information was mind blowing! The idea that my thoughts, feelings and
actions determine my results was a truly liberating concept. I learned
that I hold the key to the prison that is my mind. If I could control my
thoughts, I could create anything I wanted!
I remember introducing a
couple of friends to my new world – those who I believed would be
present in my life for a lifetime. I was so excited to share my
discovery with them and disappointed that all I received in return was
skepticism and negativity. It was deflating and discouraging, to say the
least.
But then I remembered... if I’m the most successful,
ambitious and driven of all my friends, I had better find new friends.
And in order to attract those new friends, I must first make the space
for them and create, what I like to now call, The Friendship Vacuum.
As
painful as it was I knew I HAD to make some changes with regard to the
people I was hanging around. If I wanted to become a successful
entrepreneur and have the time, money and mental freedom I longed for, I
needed to spend time with others looking to achieve similar dreams – or
better yet, people who have already achieved them.
I started
spending less and less time with those friends in my life who seemed
perfectly happy and content where they were and had no desire whatsoever
for something more. They weren’t bad people, by the way; they just
weren’t interested in changing or growing or improving.
Before long, I was lonelier than the man in the lighthouse.
I
quickly began questioning my decision. It was a mental battle each and
every day not to pick up the phone and apologize for my mistake in order
to rekindle our friendship. But I stayed true to my decision and wished
them well.
“Successful people make decisions quickly and firmly.
Unsuccessful people make decisions slowly, and they change them often.”
- Napoleon Hill
Months
passed, then years, and I still didn’t have any new, close, true
friends to speak of. And then there was one. Finally, after 5 years of
waiting, waiting, waiting!
I would quickly discover that one is all I
needed because the vision I held was very clear. I asked the universe
for a BFF who...
· Loves me unconditionally
· Sees the beauty in my quirkiness
· Is interested in growing and studying together
· Can keep a secret
· Let’s me in
· Makes me laugh when I cry
· Can find the positive in any situation
· Is driven for success
· Operates with integrity, kindness and positivity
There are more traits I asked for, but those are the biggies. Enter Mykie Oyler.
It
seemed out of the blue when she entered my life; I didn’t see it
coming, yet I knew she was on her way and I welcomed the opportunity for
new friendship with open arms. Once we met it was so obvious that she
was exactly who I had been waiting for - and well worth the wait. She
was all the things I asked for, and so much more.
There was no
way I was squandering this answer to my prayers. I jumped in with both
feet, complete faith and an open heart. I trusted her with my secrets. I
let her see me cry. I let her in to my quirky side. And I offered her
the same safe space of unconditional friendship, as well.
We became fast friends.
Now,
2 years later, ours is one of the most precious and valued
relationships in my life. Where I lack, she excels and visa versa. We’re
an incredible team.
And here’s an interesting insight I experienced
by creating a Friendship Vacuum: We don’t attract to us what we want;
we attract what we are.
During those lonely years, I put all my
time and energy into learning and applying the material I was both
studying personally and working with on a career basis. My mind became
so clear and focused on the traits I dearly desired in a true friend,
that I literally incorporated and reinforced those very same traits in
myself.
I attracted what I wanted because it had become who I was. Isn’t that interesting?
The
Friendship Vacuum may seem like a scary concept – and rightfully so.
But it’s worth it! And that’s why I challenge you to really consider
your relationships and whether they serve and support you in your
growth.
Here’s my promise to you: If you will get clear about
what you want and who you want to be, create a space for it in your
life, and be willing to give as good as you get - you will be very
pleasantly surprised by the kind of quality relationships waiting on the
other side of the Friendship Vacuum!
To my Best Friend, my
Partner in Crime, my Inspiration, my Soul Sister … I am grateful for you
every day. I love you Mykie Jo Oyler!
XO
Becca
*****
ASK ANYTHING ABOUT LAW OF ATTRACTION, NOW ADVICING GLOBALLY.
CONTACT: JASJIT SINGH
Website: www.facebook.com/jasjit27
Blog: www.jasjit27.blogspot.com
Call/Whatsapp: +91- 971-671-5525, +91-965-436-7744,
(I can also meet you personally for advice if you live in Delhi City)
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