The Good Deed Challenge
The
summer of 2011 I began my first summer of being an alumnus of Central
Michigan University. The idea of a “big kid” job made me nervous. I had
an itch to travel before I became tied down with the nine to five grind.
As a friend and I sat and indulged in small talk, I mentioned my urge
to travel. This friend told me that her boyfriend is working at a
restaurant in the beautiful state of Alaska and he could get me a job as
a seasonal server for the summer. I put in my application the next day,
and was interviewed a day after. Within one week, I accepted a job in
Alaska and was on a plane for an adventure of a lifetime.
I was
fortunate enough to receive a job as a server at the end the summer
season, lasting only two months. Seasonal jobs usually last four to six
months, with the last two months becoming competitive. Within those last
two months, employees try to make as much money as they can before they
either fly home or depart to their next seasonal job. I arrived during
this competitive time, not knowing a soul; I was an outcast. With how
competitive the other servers were, a few of them had a goal when anyone
new came in, to either make that person quit or get them fired. “Well,
how could they get someone to quit or get fired?” Workplace bullying,
and I was the victim.
With this job, everyone worked and lived
together so there was no escape. I had awful cell phone reception,
making it difficult to call family and friends. It was nearly impossible
to get on the internet, meaning no Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest,
Instagram, Instant Messenger, LinkedIn, etc. I was stuck and couldn't
talk to my friends or family about what to do. I was isolated and alone
with my struggles.
There were two bullies in particular who made a
valiant effort to get me to quit. If I would ask, “Hey, how are you?”
The response I would get would be the following, “Why are you talking to
me!? I hate you! I don't ever want you to speak to me again! I can't
wait until you're gone!” There were points where one of the bullies
became physically abusive, but I was too nervous to tell my boss. I
didn't want to look like a rat, and he made sure the intimidation factor
was there. This bully wanted everyone to know he owned me.
Every
day, I thought about how easy it would be to quit and go home. Get back
to my friends, family, and life. Life can kick you in the mud
sometimes, and character is developed by how you get back up and clean
yourself off. I realized this situation was my mud puddle and my
character would be defined by how I climbed out of it.
I took a
step back and looked at my situation from a different perspective; I
started to make observations on why I could be getting bullied. Broken
souls and past demons have a way of causing permanent damage to people.
These people sometimes allow bitterness and hate to govern their lives.
I realized that the average age of employees was 18-22, but the main
bully was 31. I began to question why he enjoyed working with younger
individuals and what his goals were. I then thought back to the first
day he bullied me.
The first time I was bullied by this
individual was in a group. As he said an incredibly mean comment to me,
everyone laughed, including me. I wanted to act like this comment
didn’t have an effect on me, but I didn’t think of the outcome it would
have on the bullies outlook. This individual realized that his mean
comment made people laugh, making him friends. I then began to realize
that the only way this individual knew how to make friends was by
picking on others. If he hurt one person to make five others laugh, he
was winning. My goal was to change this habit and outlook on life, and
the way I responded to my bullies changed my life in a way I could have
never imagined. I decided to start a good deed project!
My good
deed project was a bit of a case study. I decided to do a good deed
every day for my bullies, one in particular. I would make sure he knew
his schedule so he didn't miss any days, open the door for him, and do
everything I could to make his life easier. I used to ask him how he was
doing and the response I would get was the following; “Don't talk to
me! You know I don't like you, so stop trying to talk to me! I hate
you!” After I started doing good deeds, I noticed he stopped acting as
rude. As I did these good deeds, I studied how my bully’s persona would
change from an individual setting to a group setting. After a couple of
weeks in, one of the bully’s friends made a statement that gave me my
backbone.
“You don't deserve the way people are treating you; you deserve better than this.”
This statement was said by one of the bully’s good friends. After that
statement, I started to gain more friends, some of which were friends of
the bully. Being accepted made me a much happier person, showing me the
importance of inclusion. I was finally enjoying my time and believing
in myself, while noticing I was making some magnificent friends. The
bully and I now having mutual friends created a conundrum for the bully.
My
bully was faced with a tough situation; be nice to me and hang out with
me and our friends, or continue with his way of disrespect and risk
losing all of his friends. Remember how he thought bullying made him
friends? This is where the light bulb finally clicked in his head, and
the case study worked. Guess what he did? He gave me respect, and it
saved my life.
What good deed will you do today?
Andrew Nalian
My
Comments:- Stop giving your attention to Bullies. Instead concentrate
on others who are good to you. In the story, he gave attention to
goodness and changed the situation and became threat to the one who
Bullied him. Change your thoughts, it needs a bit of practice, but after
practice, you learn to control your thoughts. Outer world tried to
affect him, but he corrected his inner world and turned the situation.
*****
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